So, what exactly is gender queer?
The short answer is that it means that you don't feel the same or identify with your assigned gender at birth. It can also be used as an umbrella term to describe people who don't fit into 'male' or 'female' or as a single, stand-alone identity for the following categories;
1- both a man and woman,
3- changing between the genders,
4- third or other gender.
And what's 'gender'?
Gender is, basically, how you feel or how others see you. It's your behaviour, expression and roles in society. "Gender is what's between you ears, sex is what's between your legs," is an interesting phrase to explain the difference between gender and sex. Another is that one is biological (sex) and the other self-expression and mind/psychological (gender). Gender is typically divided into two, male and female and is considered by many to be the same as one's sex. But it's not, not for everyone.
The Gender Unicorn is another way to show what exactly gender is. Gender Identity; female, male or other is in the mind. Gender Expression; feminine, masculine or other is on the outside in appearance and behaviours. Sex is in the DNA; male, female or other/intersex. Sexual and Romantic attraction are in feelings or the 'heart' and can be men, women, both, no one or everyone.
It's not a mental illness and it's not a problem. A lot of people feel differently about their gender identity and while many are happy with being the gender assigned at birth, some aren't. It can be difficult to talk about this openly to others but it's important that it is understood so that everyone can feel better and happier.